There has been so much clarity on day 6 of feeling thankful. I have recognised thoughts I would normally have and realise I have a different perception. For example if my children break something or even a difficult driver in front of me. I feel less frustration than normal… more things feel “doable”.
Today, I tackled a side table next to me that had been accumulating in dust. I usually get overwhelmed easily but today I felt like doing it, and I wasn’t mad about not finishing it. The neater I find my house and the quicker it takes me to find things, or clean things or pick up things the more “doable” life feels. It seems so simple but strange at the same time. I didn’t think the simplicity of having a neat home would make me feel more thankful and yet I had to be more thankful to feel like cleaning it.
How can this exist? I used to hate my house. I hated the colour, the temperature (yes, no air conditioning or heating) and just felt uncomfortable. Now with the fix of our air conditioning and heating, and cleaning up the most used but least seen part of our house (the closet) I find myself motivated to do more. I appreciate the comfort in temperature. I appreciate finding clothes I need easily as I am not searching past all the clothes that don’t fit or that are out of date anymore. When the smaller things come easily, then other bigger tasks don’t seem as hard. When I feel like my house is providing me comfort – even as simple as temperature – I want to make it comfortable.
Anyway… small changes have led to bigger changes… my house is coming along and I am so excited soon to have people over instead of dreading the thought of people seeing my messes.
So what two things I am thankful for today that are changing my brain?
Reverse cycle air conditioning – I love that there seems to be a purpose of “comfort” in my house, even if it’s just temperature. I don’t know if you can truly appreciate this unless you have gone through a winter and a summer (like we have) without either. Blankets and iced water has been our options to keep us cool and warm depending on the weather. It’s lovely when your home as a whole (like a heater or air conditioning) that can do this. It feels like the house is there for your comfort. It changes your perception of the purpose of your house, and helps you appreciate it more.
I appreciate our librarians – which is why I’m launching a bit of a book club. Today we went there. It was quite funny because my daughter (who can get quiet) tried to explain to me she lost her library card… I didn’t quite understand, but being the smarty pants she is I said “you have memorised your library card number – just punch it in and we can check-out. Sure enough the machine wouldn’t let her and said to seek staff. I found the librarian and asked her what the problem was. The problem was that my daughter had left her library card somewhere in the library and they found it and locked it in a draw and it alerted them when she tried to check books out. When they got her card they noticed it was falling apart (it’s only 8 years old) and they got her a beautiful newly designed one. My daughter was lamenting that she had her old number memorised and would have to memorise a new number. Our wonderful and librarian searched through all the new cards to find a number that was easily memorisable. How lovely was that? I that eased my daughter’s anxiety considerably. Anyway… I am thankful for librarians who put children at ease over the silliest of things so that they can love books as much as they do. That was the ultimate motivation “Have a new number that you can memorise and feel at ease with so you can check out more books”. Anyway, Librarians will never get enough credit in my opinion… but I love them and love how much they have inspired my children.
Hope your Tuesday was just as lovely,
This week I am celebrating wearing shorts! Why? Well, it’s been almost 18 months since the accident of my car losing my brakes which caused it to drag me down a hill. I had terrible gravel rash. It healed incredibly quickly (within 4 weeks) except for one trouble spot that took over a year to heal. It took so long because my knee still had gravel in it. It was pretty gross to look at and even my 4-year-old niece would ask me when swimming in the family pool “What’s wrong with your knee Aunty Jenny?”
Her sweet little mind was very concerned about the “rock inside Aunty Jenny’s knee” and talked about the subject with quite a few people.
Today is the day I start my journey to becoming more fit and the weight that I want to be.
It hit me that I have done this but given up because I don’t see the progress I have made. I was looking at other weight-loss stories and I saw a woman who said she was glad she took pictures because she didn’t think she had made progress even though she had lost 100 pounds. The pictures showed how obvious it was that she had lost weight but in her head she felt like she hadn’t made progress.
This is why I fully believe that as long as you don’t have any physical health problems Continue reading “Beginning Today”→
So I have been quiet lately because I have been quite upset thinking that I may need to go through another procedure. I have been undergoing test after test (I have another one next week) but thankfully the doctors have had a chat and decided that I would probably be best to be left alone.
I have a test scheduled next Thursday and my doctor mentioned that the results would be back in time for “the 19th”. I said “What happens on the 19th?” He says “oh we (and he mentioned some of the best doctors I know) have a fortnightly meeting… (silence…) where we meet and discuss patients (silence….) like you…. (silence…) you probably have felt your years burning”.
Well… let just say I’m not sure where I am supposed to be in life as my life is constantly interrupted with my health surprises and abnormalities but I definitely feel like a super rare and valuable Pokemon collector card when it comes to doctors.
I nearly shared the story of having an ultrasound on the entry sight right after a procedure and the ultrasound technician said she needed a radiologist in the room to double check they have the scans they needed. As the radiologist came in he asked what I had gone through … I said “Spleenic Artery Aneurysm coiling”… he said “no, you must be mistaken what did you have?” so I said it again… Then he said “no, you must mean brain aneurysm or heart aneurysm?” before I could respond he said “WAIT!! You’re that girl!! I heard about you!!” suddenly there was 50 questions coming my way “How do you feel, can you feel the coiling? Do you know it’s there?” I couldn’t get a word in…
The funny thing is… I have felt quite frustrated in my life about all this health stuff… and yet… I have a little giggle to myself that if I am here for nothing else… at least I can be a medical “rarity”. I usually make it a mission to have the very serious doctors with a smile on their face or in laughter by the time I leave their room.
Today, I was quite relieved when told I did not need another procedure despite the findings (of yet again new internal strange things) – and my specialist who has seen me for at least 6 years said: “as usual, it’s always a pleasure to speak with you”. and I smiled and answered cheekily “I know”.
Hey… I got to be confident about something in life – if nothing else… The doctors who like a challenge – love me and talk about me often. That’s better than feeling sorry for yourself and not knowing why the heck you are still alive.
P.S. did a 5k walk on Sunday – with all the new energy I have from my 1/3 of my spleen dying. Have been walking a minimum of 5K every day and determined to feel healthy again no matter what is happening – also – it rained THE WHOLE TIME…
Looking for something rare like rare Pokemon cards? Find them here
There are plenty of people that I am in contact with every day that provide inspiration who are very private people that I cannot name them. I know some who have survived abuse from the people who were supposed to protect them and they have found a way to use it to show compassion for others. I know others that are dealing with painful divorces and are having to raise children on their own with the knowledge that the other parent involved wants nothing to do with their own children anymore. I know people who have lost a child, people dealing with end-stage cancer.
Their attitudes are positive – making the best of a difficult situation. Getting up every day and giving the most they can to those around them.
I also know of women who are dealing with health conditions – not unsimilar to mine, who have husbands or partners that resent their illness. I have to say one thing I am most at awe with is that despite the many times I have ended up in hospital and in a difficult/dangerous situation – my husband has never treated me with resentment – has not once complained. He has made the best of many bad situations within our marriage and I know that is worth more than all the gold.
Please read the article, mentioned (I think everyone should), and know that if you are doing your best in a difficult situation – you are an inspiration.
Sometimes you get given a difficult hand, and the only choice you have is to play those cards the best way you know how.
It’s not always about moving mountains, but doing your best to keep climbing.
It’s weird that I’m typing this Title. Kevin Smith as inspiration? Sure he makes funny films. He doesn’t even make the type of films that I am USUALLY interested in (however my husband will try to prove how hilarious he is and make me watch all of his films). I will say that I probably enjoy Kevin Smith’s interviews more than his films. Either way, I wouldn’t normally call him an inspiration but someone who makes me giggle occasionally – but he is inspiration for me today and perfect timing for me (as selfish as that sounds).
I haven’t written this all down, but as a person who comes across like I’ve not got too many cares in the world, and yet was faced with death at the age of 6, with open heart surgery, I find Kevin Smith’s calmness while facing death as a grown man quite comforting.
Not only that, but as I mention that I have had to deal with the fact that I have another risky surgery coming up (which I should have the date of by tomorrow). I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately and I know… how is death at all inspiring? Well… so many reasons.
I have been asked in the past (with multiple life or death situations/surgeries) if I was worried about my health. I would shrug my shoulders and say “well, I could be perfectly healthy and get hit by a bus tomorrow and so why should someone like me who has health issues worry about tomorrow?” It’s true though. Lately someone who is “related to a friend of someone I know” went to go help someone who they thought was drowning last Thursday – he hasn’t returned. He isn’t expected to be found. He was 20, and healthy.
My heart aches for this situation but at the same time… Should I worry? Kevin Smith’s comments about not being scared, and facing fears was inspiring. If you haven’t read them you should. I say this because Kevin Smith is successful, he gets to do what he wants to do for a living (which frustrates me because with my health I have been torn away from so many of my goals), and yet, death has no preference. We all have to face it some day. We all have to face death whether you reached your goals or not. So why not use this understanding to make each moment count?
It sounds cliche I know! But you never know when. The best (and healthiest) people who can be healthy as the best can have heart attacks and strokes at a young age, not including crazy life circumstances that can cut things short).
If you understand this, life becomes more free, and it includes less worry about judgment. We all end up in the grave, just at different times – we might as throw that worry away so we can dance and laugh our way to the end.