When I was younger and decided on majoring in Journalism because I had the idea that the only goal in life is revealing the truth. I wanted to uncover corruption and provide justice for the people in a way that the law couldn’t. I wanted to fight for the person who had no voice. Of course, when we are young, our ideals a faulty as they are untainted with real life.
In one of my classes, Media Ethics, I became aware of a real life situation that distressed me. A woman stood up and talked about how her brother had gone through an extremely traumatizing incident (through respect I will not give the details of the exact story). She talked about the mental affects it had on her as well as her family, friends, and particularly her brother. Immediately after this trauma, the media was after an interview. They tried many tricks to be “the first” to get the story. These tricks caused more stress on the family who went through the entire ordeal. People wanted to know EVERYTHING and ALL things about this particular event in which only her brother could talk about and yet – he couldn’t. He was extremely physically and emotionally he was unable to speak about it. Yet the problem was – the media needed a story and they couldn’t get a hold of the one person they needed for the story – so they did something else. They brought all sorts of “survival experts” and psychologists to interview. As a result, the first interviews about this story were by “experts” who never went through the event themselves who discussed how this man had to have made up the entire situation.
Now can you imagine the mental affects there has to be on someone who not only went through a physically and emotionally traumatizing event (that lasted for days) but because you weren’t ready to speak about it yet, there are now people talking about the worst experience of your life as a made up story on national television. Read More
It took me going back to university working toward my education degree that helped me understand how my thoughts was failing me.
I believe I was born with a growth mindset (if you haven’t already I recommend Mindset by Carol Dweck to better understand growth vs Fixed mindset), however it took a lot of “you can’t do that” and “This is the way you should do things” that I grew into a fixed mindset.
It wasn’t until I had to go back to school and understanding my fear of failing that I learned how fixed my mindset was. I forced myself to read every piece of feedback on my assignments – not just the positive, but especially the negative and see what I could learn from it. I pushed myself into learning not to become discouraged from setbacks but to figure out how to grow from them.
I have learned that a degree isn’t going to answer my dreams in what I want to achieve in life (although I will keep up with it for that piece of paper). I can see myself becoming frustrated with the restraints of the education sector after a few years of teaching.
I am naturally discouraged along this journey because my generation has grown up in what I have dubbed (unless someone said it before me) “a microwave society”. We are used to having what we want the instant that we want it and I’m not going to go into a rant about how spoiled our generation is, but how much easier it is to become discouraged when things down’t work out for us right away. We expect success – and quickly.
One of the main reasons people site for not losing weight is that we don’t lose weight “quick enough” in our minds. Our expectations are high, and fast, just like internet connections. However one great opportunity with this era is that the we live in a world with a lot more avenues to promote our passion. It doesn’t matter if you live in the middle of nowhere – if you have the internet, you have an opportunity.
So what to do? Is your goal to get fit? Is it growing your online business? Is it a degree?
With still in recovery from my procedure and trying to gain strength again, my routine might be a bit light compared to others but I recommend a passion routine.
Find real people and/or find an online group about your passion – this includes finding a mentor (if you can). You can find some websites (or blogs) that help direct you with your ideas and goals. Go to your library and ask the librarian what resources that the library holds (as well as the community events) that could assist you.
Lastly, have some books on the subject and read a few pages each day (depending on how much time you have – but commit to a certain amount of pages).
I personally have a book on current events that I like to read to get my mind “warmed up” then I read 10 minutes of each book (I currently have two) on the subject I am passionate about, (and add on a lot of online research). After I put a lot of my effort into my goals for that day (each day working towards what I want to achieve) I then have a relaxing book that has nothing to do with anything else – but to be able to decompress after intense work. This is something that universities recommend when doing copious amounts of research. You need a book that wont make you think too hard to help the mind feel like it’s had a “break” and a “relax” so you don’t get burnt out.
But the very first step you must take – is changing your mindset!
If you have the chance I would love if you left your recommendations of books on the subjects you are keeping your passion with in the comments section.
I may be the last person on the planet to hear of the 5 second rule… Have you heard of it. Thankfully a random search (that had nothing to do with what I was researching) brought up this Mel Robbin’s Video.
I was thinking a lot about how to organize myself to organize myself (yes… that wasn’t a grammar mistake… I really was trying to organize my organization method).
I have goals – I need a proper desk for my laptop to focus more on my writing. I want to spend at least 10 minutes a day to read or study up on my goals – to help motivate me and stay on track. I was wanting to gain strength back from my recent procedure – it’s painful and I have procrastinated. I have been wanting to finish a garden project I started 5 years ago. I have many clothes to drop off at Goodwill. Do I need to go on?
I have kept hitting the snooze button. Occasionally I have had a wave of motivation and I couldn’t figure out the key to why I could suddenly be motivated to so something and other times I didn’t. What I did know was that I kept talking myself out of things. After watching Mel Robbin’s video it hit me that this hesitation has been my biggest enemy to achieving my goals and changing bad habits, and that I need to adopt the 5 second rule.
Backed by science – if we stop thinking/hesitating about what we need to do and just countdown to doing it we’ll actually be working on our goals.
Also, I may be the last person to hear of Mel Robbins but I thought I would mention her, in case I’m not the last person who has heard of her.
Do what you need to do – stop thinking about it – and count down out loud to your execution of what you are thinking about doing.
Find Mel Robbin’s books here.
Happy Friday (in Australia).
P.S. After you have stopped reading this I hope you have counted down:
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO!
At summer camps growing up, I grew the love of rock climbing and as a result when I turned 18, I got certified to become a rock climbing instructor. One of the first things they tell you is that you wont get killed in the beginning. You are too scared when you first start out rock climbing to be killed – so you double, and triple check your harness and safety equipment before climbing. I was told, the beginners are usually fine, and nothing happens to them, it’s after a few years, when you are great at your job, you become too comfortable with this potentially dangerous sport that you take risks or forget to check the equipment, and you make deadly mistakes. It’s the long-time professionals that get killed.
This is a principle that can be applied in different ways.
Most car accidents happen within 3km (1.4 miles) from home. Why? Because we are so familiar and comfortable with driving that last little bit home that we don’t pay the attention needed for the road.
There are countless stories of people/children drowning in a pool when there are many others around – because everyone assumes someone is watching. They trust a little too much that the swimming abilities of those in the pool are good enough and they don’t need to keep watch.
I know I have ruined a relationship by becoming too comfortable, thinking I could say or do whatever, not realizing I had overstepped my boundaries and caused offence.
Today I was too comfortable down a street I knew well that I believe has been assigned the wrong speed limit. I have never seen policemen there, and it’s the one street I speed down consistently – I abide by the law with every other part of my journey. Today – I was caught speeding down this street. Sure, it didn’t kill me but I definitely don’t have the money to pay the ticket.
I believe that unless you are on vacation and you are 100% safe (there are plenty of horrible vacation stories full of accidents or trusting the wrong people), it can pay off to stay uncomfortable.
The goal shouldn’t be “to be comfortable” the goal should be to be at peace with the uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable, keeps you safe.
I usually post “Cool Finds Wednesday” where I post cool new items out there for sale.
Today I struggled doing this as today is the day we observe Anzac Day. As a friend put it “we honor those that gave up their future so we could have a future”.
Most businesses close today. There is no buying or selling and so I do not feel comfortable “selling” on this blog.
This day is taken more seriously than any other day in Australia. My children had their own “afternoon service” at school yesterday and they wore red poppies – to remember those that gave their lives. They listen to “The Last Post” while having a minute of silence. Schools may not choose to talk about Easter, or Christmas, but remembering the Anzacs is a topic of priority this time of year.
This morning – many people get up in the dark to be there at the dawn service. Children and adults lay wreaths to honor the fallen soldiers.
I am honored to say that my Grandfather, and two of my uncles have served in the Australian Army. My Grandfather had a hard time speaking of it, and so I do not know much about what he went through.
I cannot imagine what it would have taken to be young and willingly go into a situation that would likely mean death but I do appreciate their sacrifice.
The only thing I do request is that if you don’t have an ANZAC pin already that you purchase one to show your respect and honor for those that have gave their lives.
I will also post and excerpt”The Fallen” poem and a ANZAC Biscuit recipe that was sent by the wives of the soldiers that is famously made around this time of year:
“Greater love has no man than this, to lay one’s life for one’s friends”
One of the downfalls of having a chronic health issue – or even intermittent health issues is that you will receive opinions. Some come from a place where the person giving their opinion lacks compassion because they have not been there, but most are really well-meaning. The ones you need to listen to, are the ones that know you best and have tread the difficult waters of illness with you.
I recently received a get well card from some people I knew years ago. They never really made the effort to support me or even be that kind to me, but things have changed.
I was 20 when I knew them, most people at that age have not dealt with real illness by and they just are not in a place to show their support. I used to take this personally but after receiving a card from these people over 15 years later I reflected on my memories of them. I also was aware that not long ago they had a child that had to deal with a very serious illness. In the 15 years during this time, they have seen (in the most difficult way) how painful that can be (there is nothing worse than having a small child in the hospital). The card I received from them was probably one of the nicest, genuine and supportive cards I have ever received and it made me realize a couple of things:
The second category of people are the people who really want the best for you but go about it the wrong way. They give you opinions from the sidelines – they may have had an illness but not the same kind, and will give you advice based on their own experience not thinking about the major differences between you and them. I find even some of my closest of friends go into this mode when I am sick – they tend to lecture instead of empathize. They aren’t truly listening but to make them feel better sometimes you just let them talk. They have good intentions – but on difficult days they can take any energy left from you by providing opinions on what you should do. I really would listen to these people more if they stopped by and visited more, or made a meal or any of those things. But bottom line is, they do care, they just don’t truly understand – and as much as that can be frustrating – they still mean well (and shockingly, there are times they wont tell you how to handle your illness).
The last group of people – I call my people. They may or may not have had an illness, but they want to understand – they will listen to every complaint, every thought, and give you space when you need to rest. If they give advice (which is rare), you do listen, because you know they know you best during this time. They have done the hard yards. You can count on them 100%. Sometimes there may be just one person in your life that will be this person, if you are lucky maybe more. These people you know are friends for life, they aren’t just around during the good times, but there for the difficult times too. BUT THERE IS STILL ONE VERY IMPORTANT PERSON LEFT…
YOU!! If you are anything like me, you can be your harshest critic. This is a lesson I am learning right now. To give myself a break. When I am unwell I tell myself I am lazy – I’m not lazy – I’m sick, but that word goes through my head. You need to be able to sit and rest, take a nap, take meds/vitamins, be in tune with what lifts your spirits and put your effort into that. That is your assignment! You need to be part of your own support team. Be good to yourself. There is only one of you! You need to know yourself well enough to know what can trigger thoughts of anger, discouragement, depression, and to find a way to replace it with a thought of love, kindess, and Joy. You are the most important person in your own support team, and without you as the foundation – none of the other people in your team can support you.
Hope you have a great health day.