I love hearing other people’s ideas, thoughts and suggestions. Why? Because I know that maybe, just maybe I don’t know everything about everything… I know shock right? There is so much to learn from other people and I think we can learn a lot more from people than we would from books (that was painful for me to say… as I love my books).
I am going to be honest… I had a strange weekend. My son, who has sensory issues was quite highly strung and I was having to use a lot of patience being able to work with him. He was discussing his goals with me about wanting to make $10 more to pay for a LEGO set he had wanted. I told him how I could not give him $10 in one day for chores… I was going to suggest other options but instead he reacted before I could get there – strongly. His words were “You don’t care about my goals, or that I would like to try to buy something for myself” as he stormed off crying.
After some time to himself to calm down I was able to explain that I wanted us BOTH to think of solutions together and I was hoping to hear of any ideas he might have had but he reacted too quickly. Now, I know some people are reading this and if you don’t have a child with my son’s conditions you could make some harsh judgments about me, my son, my parenting etc, etc.
However, it brought to light how difficult it is to raise him with not reacting so quickly – especially in a world that has become so quick to react themselves. Adults do this now!
I posted an article with my friends this weekend – I didn’t even think of the source or the title – but I was trying to bring light onto a deal made between America and Australia (my two favorite countries – with good reason), that has not gone well.
Without asking me my thoughts, or people giving me their opinion or adding to the facts of the matter – I got some quick reactions saying how they were upset with where I sourced the story from. They never asked “Why did you choose this source?” (My answer quite simply was that no other media source is really covering it… so I had no CHOICE in the source). I also got told that I needed to “educate myself with all the media sources”, again… if anyone else would cover it, I would gladly have used other sources. The point was – people used the article – to not read, think about, or even argue against – but to make a judgement on ME.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR THAT MY FRIENDS!! I couldn’t help but think that they reacted quickly without discussion. I wasn’t saying that that was the only side to the story – in fact I was hoping people would share their thoughts on the matter so we could broaden the ideas on the topic but we never even got to chatting about the problem because people focused their attention on me!
This is a PROBLEM! We can never solve anything in this world if we’re too busy judging and being offended with the person who brings up the subject instead of actually TALKING ABOUT THE SUBJECT.
Anyway, I grew up thinking it was great to get to know people different from me so I could learn different perspectives about a topic and broaden our knowledge and have more tools to solve problems.
Instead of gaining opinions and perspectives from people who think differently from me about various topics, it seems like it’s easier to collect other people’s opinions of me.
I know I’m not alone in this.
I’m starting to believe we need safe spaces – but these safe spaces need to be an environment where it is safe to share opinions, ideas and thoughts on a wide range of topics – without being judged. I have yet to find a safe space on social media.
Meanwhile, I will go back to teaching my son how to be patient with hearing other people’s thoughts and how to contribute his own, even if adults in this world have stopped doing this.
Hope you all have a week of being able to learn from those who are different around you, and are able to share your thoughts too!