A huge revelation came when I was working through writers block:
I often talk about how we need to change ourselves to change our world, and I often do challenge myself with changing when I set goals and figure out how to do better and be better.
There are times when a situation can trigger an “old tape” that plays in our head that feeds on the insecurity or hurt of a memory. This happened without me being aware, that resulted in writers block.
Having had to deal with health problems since I can remember, I have felt at times a burden. I have people literally tell me when I have taken on a new project “You can’t do that, you are sick!” It hits me that some people who have never really dealt with real health issues may not be able to express empathy to those who have health challenges. They also cannot view those with health challenges clearly or see what they can offer and treat those people with limitations as limited. This is a challenge on top of physical and/or mental health issues.
Recently a poorly organised project actually saw me being excluded with helping someone who I know and care about. The thing is, it wasn’t personal, there were a few people who wanted to be included in the project that didn’t even get asked (I was at least asked – just asked at the very last hour in which it was too late). Even though logically I knew it wasn’t personal, it really fed on the insecurity of being overlooked or being perceived as “too sick” to help and serve others and started edging to the insecurity of feeling like a burden.
Serving others is a privilege. It is absolutely necessary for mental health to know you can do something for other people. When you are physically unable to help others – you can start feeling like a burden which is the number one red-flag feeling that causes people to fall into depression and suicidal thoughts.
One of the most interesting suggestions for people who deal with depression is to start doing things for other people.
As I started realizing that I was more upset about this than I should be, because it triggered thoughts of not being helpful and being a burden – I was able to tackle these feelings head on. I, for one, am quite sick those insecurities – and I was determined that a situation in which I had no control of was not going to control me.
I remembered times when I felt like I was giving back, even when I am not financially able to help people out in the way that I would like. I used to write more cards, call people, or visit those that can’t get out of their house or nursing home. Sometimes just sending a text saying I was thinking of them was enough. I had stopped because of the recent procedure and all the hospital stuff I had to go through. I had stopped because I was the one who was in need and I needed to take care of myself, but you can only be in need for so long before you have to change that attitude and realize it’s time to change. It’s time to find ways of giving back, and no matter what our limitations – to help others.
One of the most amazing women I have ever met who is no longer living, had severe MS. It was So bad that she had nurses around the clock to do everything for her. She would make her nurses sit down and write cards for her while she dictated them. I have a couple of her cards. They would say how she was praying for me and I was in her thoughts. Some of the most thoughtful people are the sickest people. Why? They can’t do anything there but sit and think about everyone else. It was humbling to think that a woman who was bedridden would still find a way to make the effort to encourage others.
So with giving myself a good kick (you know where), I realized I don’t need to wait to find out if I am included on “big giving projects”. Depending on your ability (and financial situation)- you can use your skills to organize your own projects – big or small, to help others. It takes your mind off of whatever your brain is telling you what you can’t do… and reminds you of what you CAN do.
So my challenge to you is to find a way to brighten up someone else’s day! Please let me know how you go!