I spend a lot of time talking and writing about the benefits of being real with yourself, to examine yourself, that making the world a better place starts with making changes about yourself. However there was a situation recently that made me realize that there needs to be balance in this area:
My daughter is constantly needing new glasses. She takes after her mother when it comes to being short sighted at an early age. At the age of 10 (her age) I was so excited to receive my first pair of hard contacts. I had to get them because my eyes would not stop getting worse and I simply hated wearing glasses. It didn’t help with being called “four-eyes” and the several weeks I had to wear “the patch” like a pirate.
My daughter on the other hand, loves her glasses and they have become her security blanket. So as much as I have tried to convince her that we could get her contacts she flat out refuses. This latest shopping trip for picking out glasses really surprised me though. I was trying to pick out some thin-framed, feminine looking glasses – and she wanted the thick-black glasses. I remember having arguments with my mother as a child picking out glasses – because I never got the pair I wanted and it was one of the reasons why I hated wearing them. So I really do my best to give my restrained opinion when my daughter picks out glasses. Ultimately she needs to like them more than me, as she is the one that needs to wear them.
So after realizing she was stuck on the thick-black glasses – I asked her why oh possibly why would she want such big black glasses. Her response surprised me, “because I want to be like you!”
“Oh”… I was speechless. In my mind I wanted to raise my daughter to be so different from me. I didn’t feel like a success – or that I was particularly fashionable or good at anything. I couldn’t figure it out – so I asked “You want to look like me?” She said “Yes, I love those glasses on you! You look really pretty in them”.
Funny, I had never thought I looked good in glasses and it hit me that there are negative voices in my head that are not fair to me. The things we tell ourselves is nothing we would ever say to anyone else. Why do we do this to ourselves? Most of the time, people view us more compassionately than we view ourselves. SO if you are in an examining mode at the moment (I know I am) please think of those things that you tell yourself that you would never say to another human being and get rid of it. People don’t view you that harshly, so why should you?
I’ve decided this week to take a better look at myself but through my children’s eyes…
On a similar note tonight, I asked my children if there was anything special I needed to get at the store – my son said “just something for yourself mum, for doing such a good job today!”
WHAT?? (I really need to work on this…)
Hope you have had a good week.